Why Living in the Past Could be the Very Reason Life is Passing you by

Do you realise the harm you do to yourself by living in the past?

Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived yet. Live in the present and make it beautiful.

I wasted a lot of time living in my past – regretting things I’d said or done or worse those things I wished I’d said or done.  Re-running old movies in my head about how I’d do things differently now – or how I’d been wronged and not had the chance or the bravery to put it right.  What I should or shouldn’t have done.  It took me a long time, many wasted years of stressing and much  heartache to wake up to the fact that the past is gone.  It no longer exists – you cannot change it or bend it or make it better – it’s just gone.

When you wake up and realise that Life is actually very simple – its liberating.  Yet we manage to make it hugely complicated.  We worry about things long gone or just as bad, worry about stuff that hasn’t even happened yet.  We predict the future in our heads, making movies of how terrible something is going to be – lose sleep, hair and worse of all time about stuff that may never and probably will never happen. 

No matter how hard you try – you will NEVER change the past.  You can have sleepless nights going over and over what happened.  You can analyse til your heart breaks.  You can get angry, punch doors (or worse people!) bang tables or drink alcohol or eat cookies dipped in cream but I can promise you that in the end – it will make absolutely no difference and it will not make you feel better long term.  Realise folks that the past is gone, over, done – finito.

Of course – reflecting to learn from past mistakes is great as long as lessons are learned and the past does not continue to relive itself by you reliving it day in day out.  
Reminiscing with friends and family about the olden days can produce much nostalgia and many laughs. Recounting memories that give us good feelings are like wearing a pair of comfy old slippers and like comfy old slippers, knowing when to take them off, knowing when those old slippers need to go into the bin is important.  If your old slippers are no longer comfy, they rub, have holes in and give you sore feet you wouldn’t continue to wear them on a permanent basis.  Accepting that those old slippers cannot be fixed, the damage has been done and to keep wearing them is eventually going to cause you no end of problems is the first step to coming back to today – the present and the exciting opportunities of getting some new and improved slippers.

Each new day is very special – its a new never happened before potentially fun memory for tomorrow.  You have no idea what is going to happen and how exciting and wonderful to be living in a place where opportunities for new wonders are just around the corner waiting for you to discover them.  If you’re constantly looking back how are you ever going to see what is right in front of you?

How great just to be here, now in this moment.  Its a perfect day to let the past go and rest in peace.  Let the future take care of itself and to just experience this moment right here – right now.  Pay attention to the sun shining (even if its hidden by the clouds today!), the colours, smells and sounds around you.  Stop and take in each sensation for just a few minutes and notice how great it is to be alive.  Close your eyes and listen to your heartbeat – you are a miracle of nature! Why would you waste that living in a place the no longer exists?

You and the world around you are beautiful so live for today and never worry about those things you cannot change.

Lisa Holton

Lisa Holton Coaching Ltd.  16th April 2018