5 Ways to love yourself this Valentines Day
Valentines Day is known as the time of year when we celebrate romance and love and send anonymous cards to those people we’d like to do kissy face stuff with!
Some people out there get all excited about the prospect of an admirer sending a heartfelt message inside a heart shaped card along with some flowers – red roses being the preference – and if you’re lucky some luxury chocolates.
Me however am a bit bah humbug about good ole V-Day. I’d rather feel loved all year round than be presented with a card once a year that will end up in the bin anyway and a bunch of red roses that miraculously double in price between Jan 31st and Feb 14th ….. Although the chocolates wouldn’t go to waste.
Yes I know … I know – I can hear you all from here! Booooooo !!!!
I remember many years ago (when I was still young!) and I shared a house with my friend Alison. We were both single and living it up as young 20 somethings do.
Alison worked as a dental receptionist and she had quite a few patients who were admirers and I don’t blame them she was beautiful. (She still is but don’t tell her that it’ll give her a big head!)
On Valentines day she received a V-Day surprise of some flowers and a doll. I’ll repeat that last bit …. A DOLL … Hmmmmmm
Now – don’t get me wrong – I know I’m not much of a V-Day fan BUT this doll was something else.
It sat on a base … looked a bit like this ↵ well a lot like this to be honest!
and when you wound its key it played the theme from love story while its head moved in a circle with both its hands in a kind of ‘so what’ gesture!
Jesus – that thing was scary – in fact we nick named it ‘Bride of Chuckie’ and when things started to go wrong in the house we had a burning ritual in the back garden to get rid of it!!
Talk about romance is dead!!
Valentines Day origins are quite dark too (so rumour has it ) In Roman times between 13th and 15th Feb, The Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia where the men sacrificed goats and dogs and then whipped women with the skins of their sacrifices! The women believed this would make them more fertile and so welcomed this ritual.
The annual feast also included some olden day match making where men would draw the name of a woman from a jar and they would then be … ahem ‘paired up’ for the remainder of the festival (or longer if they felt the need)
Obviously if this was still the case today – then I may feel differently about receiving a card and some roses and it has clearly evolved since Roman times thanks to the likes of Shakespeare and Chaucer romanticising it in their works.
These days of course it’s such a big thing here in the UK that sometimes being alone or single for V-Day can be very daunting for some people. Some people are left feeling unwanted, unloved and lonely.
So for those of you that may feel this way – remember …. It’s just one day of the year and the most important person to love in your life is you!
So in that vain, here are my 5 tips for honouring yourself and creating self love this V-Day
1. Recognise how far you have come
Sometimes we are so focussed on where we are heading that we forget to enjoy where we are now and honour how far we’ve come.
Try not to live life so fast that you let those moments of achievement pass you by without enjoying them.
This V-Day concentrate not on where you are going, nor on what you are lacking, but instead focus on your milestones -celebrate those obstacles you overcame to be where you are RIGHT NOW.
Honour how far you have come on your journey, celebrate and enjoy the moment.
2. Treat yourself to some self gratitude
We are bombarded these days with how we should or shouldn’t look or dress and what we should or shouldn’t eat and drink.
Sod all that! Get yourself into a spa and have a pamper or if that isn’t your thing give yourself a spending limit (don’t be too tight!!) and get yourself that jacket or that perfume that you’ve wanted for a while.
And most importantly of all … go and eat at your favourite restaurant and order the stuff on the menu that you LOVE (including the booze!) but that your ‘lose 10 stone in a day mud soup diet’ tells you you can’t have!
It’s one day and you deserve it!
3. Get comfy
There are few things that compare to getting your bra off (sorry lads tis true!) getting your favourite PJ’s on and snuggling on the sofa with a glass or cup of your chosen beverage, a bar (or box) of your favourite chocolate and your favourite film on the Telly.
As Linus said to Charlie Brown “happiness is a warm blanket” So get cozy with yourself this V-Day and indulge for a while.
4. STOP comparing yourself
Now we’ve all done it and as I said in this social media day and age its sometimes hard not to. BUT remember those images on Instagram are not real !! They have been plumped and poked and thinned and thickened and blurred and lightened and darkened, so much that if you compared them to the real person its like comparing an apple to a parrot!
Theodore Roosevelt said that “Comparison is the thief of joy”
and he was right!
The more you think you are not good enough, think you don’t look good enough, think you’re not as good as whatever or whoever, the more you will feel inadequate to all those things or people.
STOP IT !!
You …. YES YOU are bloody perfect. You were born that way – you grew that way and you’re still that way. End of!
Thinking = Feeling, so change your thinking and you will change how you feel. Simple eh!
5. Exercise your ‘Letting Go’ muscles
So – this can be a hard one if you resist it. We as humans are constantly holding onto and re-living things from our past. Why do we do that to ourselves? This will weigh your soul down I promise you! Your spirit will dull and your self esteem will take a dive.
The more you can learn to let the past live where it belongs – in the past, the more time you will have to enjoy your life in the now. The past can only hurt and damage you if you allow yourself to bring it into the present.
Don’t give your power away to something that no longer exists! It’s gone, done, over – it’s history.
Instead, accept it happened and that you cannot change it and forgive yourself for holding onto something for so long that will never serve you well.
This is a crucial step in achieving self love.
So on that note – I wish all of you, coupled up or not, a jolly Bah Humbug of a V-Day and as always lots of L♥VE
By Lisa Holton – Lisa Holton Coaching February 2019